That Girl

I am that girl.  Always have been….

If it is a good joke, I laugh far too loud.

If I find you interesting, I am eager to get to know you.

I hug.  A Lot.  I mean seriously. Like, it may be it is a problem.   I just have a lot of hugs to give.

If I like something about you, (unless it would be creepy to say so… and sometimes even then) I tell you.

I am touchy.  I will grab your hand, put a arm around you shoulder,  you name it.  If I can get closer, I will.

If I love you, I always will.  Even if that means you can’t be in my life, I still LOVE you.  I love hard.

I am amazing with secretes.  Truly, my ninja power is keeping a secret, so they are always safe.

I desperately want the best for you, even if I barely know you.

I don’t cry often, but if YOU cry… watch out.  Imma gonna cry.

And you know what?  These are all qualities of me, I adore.  This is the person I want to be.  This is how I choose to show up.  Believe it or not, this is a choice.

However, as much as I like this about myself, I also get for some people, I am too much.  My eagerness and desire to know them, is off putting.  I just take up too much space somehow.

I  used to think I needed to change that.  I needed to decide to be different.  I needed to make ME smaller.  I needed to be less ME.  I needed to shrink to fit into the box.

Sadly,  I was just never a in the box sort of girl, never, to  my deep disappointment and frustration sometimes.  But I have begun to realize, I am just NOT for everyone.  But the people that get me.  GET ME.  They get all my lightness, and love.  They get the power that is me.  They get the love that is me.   My bigness does not make them fell less, it makes them feel more.

And so, I will continue to laugh too loud, hug too much, love hard  and keep all the secrets.  I will continue to love every chance I get.  Every. Damn. Chance.

And if I am too much for you??

Damn skippy.

 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson